Of Folly And Of Vice

And I told the girl, “It’s just really nice that you guys are going to do the article.”

“Thanks,” she said.

“No, I mean, the paper was a huge part of our lives - did Wayne mention that at all? Pea was the business manager, his roommate Rob did ad sales, his roommate Lou was the arts and entertainment editor – he was a hoochemaster! We all were a part of the paper and it just means a lot. I was a writer for a little while. I did lay out too, but I don’t remember why I stopped. I think it had something to do with sucking at it.”

The girl laughs out loud. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you.”

I’m laughing now as well, “That’s alright, it’s true.”

I eventually hung up after I helped her, calmly, map out a timeline for one of my dearest friend’s life and death. A timeline, a series of events. A series of events that led directly to me talking to a girl from my college newspaper, on a random Thursday, while pacing on my back patio, smoking, and occasionally, crying. Pushing my way through all the facts and denying all the emotion greatly improved my state of mind. At least temporarily.

How old was this girl? She might as well been 12. I felt 40. Say she was a junior – which means she’d be graduating in May of 2010 if all things went according to plan. This means she is six years younger than myself and my friends from college. This means by the time she even got to campus – we’d been gone for over two years or more. Ghosts.

The dorm we lived in freshman was demolished in the fall of my last semester. Half of us were gone already and the other half were just getting ready to go. When I mentioned it during our conversation I just said “a dorm that was already blown to smithereens by the time you got there”. She didn’t ask any questions.

And, when I mentioned that the boys lived in the “Welcome Friends” house, you know that one by the research field on East Campus, it’s got the sign with “Welcome Friends” on it,  - nothing.

I found myself resigned to saying things like, “Well, it was a big deal when I was there.” At 26 years old. This whole situation was getting more and more difficult.

Not only was it like me and my ghost friends never exsisted, the places and people we had touched on our little journeys were also evaporating. And now, we were dying off.